Alfie: Hang 'em high!

24 Mar

My mistake!

I listened to the radio yesterday afternoon expecting that Osbourne chappie to make some sort of announcement about his BUDGIE – possibly that he had claimed its costs on expenses!

Not so! It was the usual confusing, self-aggrandising BUDGET bulls**t that I had to pay attention to every year from 1970 to 1998 when I was working for either HM Inspector of Taxes (BOO, hiss from the audience!) or Barclays Bank Trust Co. Taxation Division (BOO, hiss from me!). Why? Because my bloody clients would ring up 10 minutes after the Chancellor’s speech ended to ask me EXACTLY how it would affect them!

Except, of course, the 1970 version which I wrote about at  – if you’ll excuse the shameless plug.

My main interest this year was what the little Weasel (and all politicians are Weasels by definition so I’m not picking on him especially) was going to do about petrol prices.

And, in an act of STAGGERING generosity he cut the duty on fuel by one penny thus also losing out on the 20% VAT that they  somehow manage to get away with charging on that duty! Yes, that IS a tax on a tax in case you weren’t keeping up and despite the denials of Weasels of all denominations!

He also imposed a seemingly unexpected “windfall tax” on the profits of the Oil Companies. Clever! Those companies will now put the price up to recoup the windfall tax!

And, surprise, surprise, the government will charge 20% VAT on that increase and will get WAY more income from we motorists than they gave up in the duty cut!

I told you they were Weasels, didn’t I?

I do, however, have an answer to the Oil Companies and what they do. It may not have much of a basis in Law but consider this line of reasoning:

The Oil Companies are profiteering.

We are, nominally at least, in a state of war (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya).

Profiteering in a time of war is TREASON.

In times of war people guilty of treason are usually HUNG from a nice friendly gallows or put up against the wall and SHOT.

If we start at the TOP of each and every one of the businesses concerned I wonder how many echelons of management would have to be wiped out before the price came down.

OK, maybe it wouldn’t fly as a working theory but thinking about it sure as hell makes ME feel better!



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