Easton's Emporium was filled to the gunnels.

29 Jun

FROM Vincent

I like minimalism. It looks great. My living room is big, so I was able to START it off minimalist (although it has gathered more stuff in the decade since).

But my den contains three walls filled with my 5,000-odd records, tapes and disks – however they ARE neatly arranged, as is my style.

Wiki says Hoarding can be tied in to OCD. True, I think. But then us OCDers are often obsessively TIDY as well. Thus a paradox. But then I’ve always been a paradox. People have said so (among other things).

Near where I used to live – before I escaped Britain – was a second-hand shop called Easton’s Emporium (they were popular in Britain, before stuff got cheap).

It was run by an old drunk who – every time some money came in, would hang the “Back In Five Minutes” sign up and sod off down the pub.

But eventually (sooner rather than later, given his fondness for booze) the old boy fell off the perch and his SON took over the business.

The shop was always filled to the gunnels (whatever THEY are) with stuff – but when, many years later, as an adult, I revisited the shop, looking for something obscure – I was AMAZED by what had happened.

As a boy, I figured the son was quite handsome – but now, he was RADDLED. And the shop was LITERALLY PACKED, top to bottom, side to side with stuff.

There was only room for the door to open inwards. Any search of it would have required a CLIMB.

But he said that he might have what I wanted in the house. So we went down the alley and he opened the door and – EVERY ROOM in the house was the SAME.

TONS OF CRAP that would barely have fetched ten pounds the LOT – FILLED the ENTIRE PREMISES.

I realised then, that this was no longer a business – it was an OBSESSION.

When I returned to my house, I systematically went through it, gathering EVERYTHING that I had thought “might come in handy one day” – and THREW IT OUT!!!


2 Responses to “Easton's Emporium was filled to the gunnels.”

  1. Alfie September 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    Oh yes! I remember THAT place!

    When I was at school the only bikes I had were 1940s hand-me-downs from Grandfathers or Great-uncles – so I tried to tart them up with flashy extras. One such was a flashy chrome plated dynamo and light set which, since it couldn’t be unclipped to prevent theft, my Dad put on then tightened the nuts with a heavy mole wrench!

    And some thieving little git from the lower echelons STOLE it! The whole thing! Wires and all!

    I was pissed off enough that I told Ken (the headmaster) about it. He said it would be impossible to find out who did it but suggested that I look around the local junk shops (a comment on my taste, perhaps?) including, specifically, Eastons Emporium!

    And when I went round there it was in the shop window! The old lush wasn’t remotely surprised to learn it was stolen, could not remember who had sold it to him and said that if I called the police he would say it was ME who had received cash for it. He had plainly done this before and I had to buy my own property back, a fact which still rankles to this day.

    In fact, in the interests of keeping a good grudge going, I hope he and all his line died in abject poverty amidst their piles of ill-gotten tat!

    So there!


    • Vincent September 21, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

      I suspect they probably will! The Easton’s were a Decidedly Dodgy lot – but I never realised Easton Jr was also CLINICALLY a HOARDER!

      This was ten years ago: if the Demon Drink hasn’t reunited him with his Dad, I wonder if Social Services has DONE something about that nut-house he ruled.

      Also, I recall HE had a son (Easton III?) who attended our alma mater. I wonder if HE took over the family “business”?

      I further recall a maker of kids’ ballet costumes rented half his shop-front for a while – but presumably quit when RATS began knibbling her wares.

      Incidentally – nice to finally HEAR from you again. Still no e-mails – but at least you’re TALKING to me again! Was it something I SAID???

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