July calendar quirk in 2011 CE. Feng Phooey.

13 Jul

JULY 2011 CALENDAR

Here is an AMUSING QUIRK that we (unless medicine suddenly extends our three-score-and-ten years up to, say, a thousand years) will see this one time only.

This year, on the Common Era calendar (sensible people do not speak of “Anno Domini”) July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years.

The one sad and boring thing about the Chinese people is that, despite the logical socialist principles that govern the People’s Republic of China, the people themselves continue to believe all kinds of tosh, including Feng Shui.

If you can believe it, the following (based on the Christian calendar) is supposed to bring good luck!

This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates.

1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all…

Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add the age you will be this year. The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world.

The superstition goes that if you send this to eight good friends money will appear in the next four days. This is Chinese Feng Shui.

If I were king, I would divide the year into 13 months, and 12 of the months would have 28 days, with the last month having 29 days (or 30 in a leap year). The above Feng Phooey would evaporate.

If we apply the duodecimal system (which we ought to) with a dozen being written 10, and a gross being written 100, the same evaporation of the Feng Phooey aka Pooey would occur.

I had an Orthodox Christian neighbour 15 year ago. She was all hot about the coming year 2,000. I did not even try to explain to her that (a) we did not accurately KNOW the birth year of Yehoshua, aka Jesu, aka you-name-him, and (b) calendars were an arbitrary contrivance created by us humans for our convenience.      

The calendar is a chance human product.

The reality is:

Earth orbits smoothly and continuously around Sol and we call the duration “a year”.

Earth spins smoothly and continuously on its axis and we call the duration “a day”.

And whether the events that we encounter in our lives are to our advantage or disadvantage depends not upon the number we have decided to assign to the year or the day but, rather, upon whether we act wisely or foolishly, and whether our body is healthy or diseased.

But I am very grateful to my show-biz sibling for letting me have the piece!

I am sure that readers of Sumpnado can pick out additional inconsistencies in the supposedly big deal!

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One Response to “July calendar quirk in 2011 CE. Feng Phooey.”

  1. Vincent July 17, 2011 at 7:48 pm #

    A Feng Shui expert once got me to move my toilet to the other side of the bathroom. He said it would improve my Shakra.

    But one night I got drunk and forgot – and had a shakra on the FLOOR.

    But seriously folks – great piece, Cy.

    You can amaze your friends if you dress up that 111 years thing as a magic trick – if they haven’t heard of it (I hadn’t – and I thought I’d heard of EVERYTHING).

    It’ll work NEXT year – you just add one. And every year – just keep adding. But this year, the figure of 111 gives you extra scope – “The numbers you are thinking of – are ALL THE SAME!”

    If God is so great – how come he (sorry – He) didn’t make the World run around the Sun every hundred days? And the Moon, ten times around the Earth?

    Of course, the Millennium only started in 2001 – thanks to Christians not having a Year Zero.

    I actually once saw a serious film set in the year 517 where someone mentioned the year. Someone in the audience said to their friend, “That’s bollocks – they wouldn’t have KNOWN it was 517 – the Gregorian…” – I couldn’t be arsed getting into it – but of course, they were WRONG. Before Pope Gregory, there were LOADS of calendars – with a variety of start years.

    It always pisses me off how the Christians HIGHJACKED the Winter Solstice as a (ficticious) birthday for their Jesus of Nazareth – but that’s another story…

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