Holy Ghost a-plenty, in Ghana, but no Hope.

2 Sep

FROM Jay in Ghana:

There is no hope of the sort of progress, here, that might change a nation into a dynamic force that could drive an emerging economy into a First World contender.

I draw this conclusion after meeting a woman on the street who enquired what church I belonged too. I told her I did not have any religion and had no wish for any entity of any kind to look out for me, or indeed save me, should the space ship on which we live malfunction or fail.

She asked me if I owned a computer. I replied that I did, and she further enquired if I still had the handbook for the computer? I replied that I did. She said:

“Well even if you don’t have any religion, it is a good idea to have your own bible, as it is a handbook for life. Like your computer handbook that gives you all the operating instructions, The Bible is your handbook on how to navigate your way through life.”

The “Tro Tro” is a van about the size of a Leyland Sherpa or Ford Transit that is over fitted with small seats, and used as a mini bus, and is the main form of transport for citizens who don’t own cars. It is the cheapest way to get around, and the most dangerous as drivers often fall asleep at the wheel or crash into other vehicles causing fatalities frequently.

I took one the other day, as I have done many times, and, as has happened in the past, a passenger sitting at the front took it upon himself to lecture this captive audience on the teachings of Jesus Christ.

He said, looking at me, that the stately homes of England and the luxury homes in California were nothing compared to the homes that were being prepared in heaven for all of us, so long as we live this life by god’s will.

As a caveat to this monologue, he said that, by the way, the streets in heaven are Gold. With an air of authority, he stated, yes, solid gold. We don’t use asphalt like we do on Earth.

I pointed out that he was not thinking, as, if it were true that gold replaced asphalt, then, like asphalt, it would be so common as to have little value, and therefore his remarks were irrelevent.

I further pointed out that gold would be a pain to drive on when wet, owing to its shiny and slippery surface, and that good old asphalt was a much better proposition.

The guy said that that was speculation, and there was no way I could say something like that with any authority.

I pointed out that he was also speculating, as he had not returned from the supposed kingdom of the lord.

He replied that he was right, as this had been confirmed by his pastor who was in contact with the holy ghost, on a regular basis, in the matter of healing the sick, and that “Miracles” were regularly performed by his pastor, with the help of the holy ghost.

Interesting he should mention the holy ghost, as it was only earlier this week that one of the newspapers here ran a story about a pastor who had raped 5 sisters.

The pastor was arrested by detectives and, when questioned, told them there was no case to answer as, you’ve guessed it: he was operating under the direct instructions of the holy ghost.

This holy ghost character has some explaining to do.

-Jay Liotta, Ghana, West Africa

email: productionfx@yahoo.co.uk

One Response to “Holy Ghost a-plenty, in Ghana, but no Hope.”

  1. Vincent September 3, 2011 at 6:39 am #

    I’d have said, “If the Bible is life’s little handbook, what about ‘The Joy Of Sex’? Or ‘Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance’?!” Now I’m just being silly…

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